“Cheapness” is a term that’s thrown around so much in video games culture that if you trademarked it, you’d be buried and killed by the weight of your royalties so fast and so hard your nuts would turn to diamonds. But I feel that the term is used unfairly, because it’s becoming increasingly popular to simply accuse someone of being cheap rather than admit that there are massive flaws in your own gameplay. Here are three common cheap tactics people love to complain about and why they’re total bullshit …
Camping is for women and paedophiles, if you choose to hide and shoot your enemies in the back rather than fight them like a man you’re a pussy, plain and simple. Because if everyone camped, the game wouldn’t progress, since no one would get any kills. So by camping you’re relying on other people playing the game properly to score points, which is cheating, right?
Why it’s bullshit.
Shooting games are in effect, combat simulators and in combat there’s one real rule, “don’t fucking die“. In shooting games this is simplified to “die less than your opponent“. Not get 50 kills, or call in more UAV’s than the enemy, just die less. Camping is the epitome of this, it’s actively trying to avoid the shit out of combat.
Sure it’s annoying as hell, but shooting games are supposed to be simulating fucking war, you’re not supposed to like your opponent and you’re sure as hell not supposed to make their job easier. Saying camping is cheating is akin to saying everyone should just run around in a circle and get shot.
Even as I’m writing this I know someone out there is thinking “but camping gives you an unfair advantage, you get to shoot at the enemy from a relatively safe position and can nail them from across the map, camping is for people who don’t have the reflexes for one on one combat” to those people, fuck you. If you’re being killed by someone who’s camping it’s because you’re not fully aware of your surroundings. To say a person doesn’t have reflexes as good as yours, when you’re the one walking around a corner without checking is stupidity on a level so severe I had to spell check this sentence 15 times just to even out typing it.
If you choose to play a game that simulates war and combat, don’t complain when you lose to a legitimate tactic people use in actual fucking war.
2. Spamming the same move.
Using the same move over and over again is stupid, it proves that you have absolutely no knowledge of the character you’re using save for the fact you know that one move is really good. Fighting games are all about pulling off sweet combos, no one wants to watch the same move repeated enough times to give your character RSI.
Why it’s bullshit.
Complaining about someone spamming the same move is equivalent to complaining that you suck so hard at video games you need someone to hold your hand as you play. If you really, legitimately believe that someone using the same move over and over again is cheap, the amount you suck at video games can be measured in metric tons.
If you’re not able to stop an opponent you know is going to use the same, easily telegraphed move, complaining that they don’t have a decent grasp of how the game works is so hypocritical you automatically become an MP just for saying it. But what about moves that are really fast and strong with a low start-up time, what about those moves, Karl!?
Well, if you’re playing against an opponent who abuses the shit out of their chosen characters best move and beats you with it. How in the hell does that person not have a decent grasp of how the game works? Sure, some people like to pull off stylish combos, but is a person who chooses to not use the most effective move for a given situation in lieu of simply showing off, really any less of a dick?
1. Hoarding the best weapons.
You only killed me because you had the shotgun, if you would have had a worse weapon when I got the drop on you I would have won. Your team only won because they kept using the rocket launcher, they didn’t use their bog standard weapons like us, because they suck at the game. Camping for the power weapons is just like admitting you can’t play the game the real way, the man way.
Why it’s bullshit.
Power weapons are included in video games for a number of reasons, usually it’s a combination between balance and variety. They’re normally massively overpowered in one aspect in return for being shitty in another, for example the shotgun in Halo is an instant kill at short-range, but does nothing more than massage your prostrate at medium range.
With rare exceptions no weapon is truly broken in modern video games, there’s no weapon that is unbeatable, although there are a few that give you a massive advantage in the right situation. With that in mind, why would someone not try to use them as much as possible?
But what about people who only use them, the guy who stands at the sniper spawn and refuses to enter combat unless he can give you a colonoscopy from the other side of the map. Well, how is that any different from using the generic gun you start with? If an opponent is dead set on only using one kind of weapon that gives them an advantage in one very certain situation, and you as a player are unable to deal with that, that highlights flaws in your gameplay.
But what about those things that are totally unfair, like the grenade launcher from Call of Duty. A weapon so hated, more people have called for it to be banned than they did with fucking Mustard Gas. Yes, the grenade launcher did allow people to get an easy kill, and yes using it was easier than drunk college girl, but everyone had access to it. The grenade launcher made the game evenly broken, there was no difference between a veteran and a new player, everyone had access to and could use the grenade launcher. That’s not cheap, that’s the smartest fucking thing a video game has ever done. It leveled the playing field for everyone.
Yes there are things in video games that may seem unfair, but the next time you accuse someone of being cheap, just think for a second, is it really cheap to use the most efficient method to win, or is it just smart?