Videogaming and exercise are normally about as likely to come together as Chris Brown’s fist and another male’s face, however, there are several gaming songs, that are in my opinion perfect fodder for that playlist on your ipod labeled “gym tunes“. Songs like.
Ultra Violet – Nelo Angelo’s Battle Theme. Devil May Cry.
There’s nothing like orchestral organ music to make you realise being a fat fucker is going to send you to and early grave. And the only thing better than the chugging guitar riff that follows to motivate you to move your saggy, shapeless ass is a punch to the kidneys. Which although very effective, is hard to get on demand unless you’re a hipster.
Jin Kazama’s Theme. Tekken 3.
If this song isn’t enough to motivate you to want to attack a Japanese girl in full school uniform, it should at the very least make you want to do some tricep curls. Hell, even if you’re deaf, it’s been rumoured that simply staring at Jin’s chest long enough will spontaneously make your legs either open or start running of their own accord, depending on gender.
Force Your Way. Final Fantasy 8.
Skip everything in that song right up until 2 minutes and 50 seconds and just, listen. Tell me you can’t imagine that playing as you stare at a piece of exercise equipment, water bottle in hand perhaps wiping a single bead of sweat off of your furrowed brow, just knowing that you’re about to spend the next 20 minutes kicking your unhealthy lifestyle right in its stupid, ugly face.
Defenders Of Legacy. Bloody Roar.
When you were a little younger and rode in the back of a car I’ll bet my left testicle that you imagined an animal running along side your car, if you didn’t, that hints that either your family didn’t own a car or you were severely abused as a child. Chances also are that unless your low self-esteem extended to the fictional constructs of your imagination, your runner animal never got tired. And what better song to bring out the endless energy of your inner runner animal than the theme song of unleashing fucking animals. Shit yeah son!
Ryu’s Theme. Street Fighter Series.
Apparently there’s an internet meme that claims Guile’s theme goes with everything. Well that may be so, but Guile has already worked himself to the peak of physical perfection, he is in the army you know. As for Ryu, he ends every battle suggesting ways he could improve himself and constantly points out mistakes in opponents tactics, who’s really the better choice for being the god of working out? The American superman who punches people to death on his own airfields, or the nice Japanese guy who tells you when your footing is wrong?
Karl hasn’t played every game ever made, yet. Feel free to point out any songs you think should have been mentioned in the comment section below.